The difference between a codependent relationship and a healthy one is the same as the difference between compromise and giving up on yourself. In a healthy relationship, you are able to find a resolution to your differences that works for both of you. And this iswithout one person consistently giving up on their needs or desires.
If you’re trying to figure outhow to stop being codependent, then that is an incredible first step for your future relationships. Breaking the cycle of codependency basically means learning how to value yourself and treat yourself tenderly, so much so that you know you don’t have to sacrifice anything as an incentive for love to stay.
Here are some practical ways to make sure that, going forward, you don’t compromise your hopes and desires for someone who isn’t worth your time:
1. Stop Thinking A Relationship Is Key To Your Happiness
When you are in a codependent relationship, it might be hard to separate yourself from a partner in order to accomplish your goals. Your one and only goal might actually just be sustaining a relationship, even if it is with someone who is incapable of making you happy. Because you think that being with someone is the only thing that can bring you satisfaction, you start pouring all of your love and resources into a partnership that is imbalanced and not actually that good for you.
Leaning on a relationship as the main source of your security and self-esteem puts way too much pressure on your partner. It might even lead you to perceive yourself as needy or clingy, particularly if your partner claims you are needing too much maintenance in the relationship.